Heart Catheretezation

Dear blog: Sorry for not writing sooner. I know it's been a long time, but I haven't felt anything unique to write about. Not writer's block, just... it hasn't been the right time. So the kids are older and we've gone from one to four grandkids. I've been preparing for almost a year to retire from state government in a few weeks... but then I almost died last week. Actually I didn't know that I almost died until today when my family doctor told me that my cardiologist told him that my Left Anterior Descending artery was 90% blocked until they put in a stent implant. Sure that sounds bad but it's not the almost died part. Right after the implant procedure I had chest pains that they told me were not typical, and I was very nauseous and sick. The stent "jailed" or cut off a smaller artery that in turn caused a "lesser"(?) heart attack. I'm feeling pretty good now except I'm feeling a combination of joy and anger. Joy that I've been given more time to accomplish the purposes and passions that Divine Providence put me on the planet to achieve, but anger that I did not have more time to get myself in the better physical condition that I always saw myself accomplishing in my late middle age. I only had slight chest pain about three weeks before seeking medical attention, but I also had higher than my normally too high blood pressure, high enough that I was turned down to donate blood. That more than the chest pain sent me to the doctor. Since I've shared what happened I've heard many stories of much younger and much healthier (apparently) men having stents and bypasses. I encourage anyone who has the slightest inkling that they may have a heart issue to ask a doctor for a stress test.

Fond Memories of Youth

January 1, 2009

What’s it all about? Or, my life so far.

Today I’m home alone and going through an old box of memorabilia that has been stored at my parent’s home for 27 years. It’s quite a time capsule, with pieces of my life from age 11 to 22, providing quite an insight into what I used to think is important. There are lots of concert ticket stubs, graduation programs, travel tags, sports team pictures, Boy Scout awards, and a list of my music collection decorated in album stickers and a girlfriend’s artistic drawings. I see two underlying themes. One, it’s all about me. It’s a collection of accomplishments and trophies (literally, I won a dance trophy in 1974, but it had to be my partner’s talent.) Two, it’s about relationships. There’s a list of my friend’s telephone numbers and a petition signed by my friends about the time of the weekly teen club dance. Other people mattered to me, but mostly in the aggregate. I was not good at being a very close friend, one who cared deeply about another person. I don’t think I knew how. As much as I liked girls and wanted them to like me, I was terrified of initiating relationships with them. An interesting feeling, fear.

Having raised two children through the teenage years, having one new teenager, and a daughter who still has her teenage years ahead of her, I believe I’m well qualified to reflect on what teenagers find important. Obviously we want to be accepted by our peers. (Do we ever outgrow this desire?) We also think we uniquely feel love, that no one else could possibly feel as passionately as we feel about another person. (Or, if we’re more confused, people.) I thought I was meant to love women, but I know now that I misunderstood my instructions (Not listening?!) I was meant to love one woman as the personification of God's Beauty.

And what do we know of love at fourteen, fifteen, sixteen? Our love at that age is pure selfishness. I know my feelings were sincere, but in distant retrospect I must say that what I really loved was the idea that a lovely, precious,...

Timeout. As I write this, the Doobie Brothers are performing at the halftime show of the Orange Bowl: Long Train Running. “Where would you be now?…without love, love, love! Now they have a fantastic sax player that I don’t remember from the old days. They were one of my favorite bands in the early 70’s, because they sang about love, which I thought I knew all about. I also liked their “Jesus is Just All Right”, More about Him later.

Anyway, what I really loved was the idea that a lovely, precious, delightful, beautiful female would even like me and tolerate my presence with her. Why did I think I was not special enough to be liked by her? And did I love her for what I could do for her? No, it was all about how she made me feel about myself. To every teenager I warn: That this is a possessive love, not true love. But you will probably have to learn that for yourself the hard way. (Merlin to King Arthur: For it is the folly of men that they forget.)

VT 20 – Cincinnati 7. Goodnight.

Hurricane Rita's Night

Watching Weather Channel tonight, SW Louisiana gusting to 111 mph winds. My 9 year old son asks tearfully why God makes hurricanes. I quote Romans, that in All Things, God works his purpose, for those who love the Lord. He understands this thanks to the VeggieTales show about Lil' Joe (Joseph) and how though he did nothing wrong and he was faithful to God, he was imprisoned for years. I also explain my belief that God puts these challenges before us to give us the opportunity to fullfil His commandment, to love one another, to feed His sheep. If 99 are saved but one is lost, we are to go to the one that is lost, to find it and return it to the flock. He understands, but he still wishes God wouldn't send hurricanes.

Our 19 year old son just returned from Iraq. We are thankful for his safe return. He has moved out of our house and lives 18 miles away with a buddy of his. He wants to get a motorcycle. He may have been safer in Iraq. We have a lot of motorcycles in these parts, they come for the thrill of our winding mountain roads. We have a lot of people killed on motorcycles here. Search "Tail of the Dragon" for more info.

The Peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you. This is not the peace of "no conflict", but the peace of being in His will, the peace that comes from understanding that God has a purpose for you, the peace that comes from finding that purpose. This peace has conflict, but it also has resolution. May you find that peace.

Not as American as Sgt Lizzie

I knew before I answered some of those questions that I wouldn't score very high.

You Are 64% American

http://www.blogthings.com/howamericanareyouquiz/

I think guns should be reserved for the milita (standing), I favored the Naval Academy graduate, nuclear engineer, over the actor and the draft dodger, and if you said "hell yeah" to a perfect America, then the only way for you to go from here is down. We warehouse our elders in "homes" so that we don't have to take care of them; almost half of the children in America aren't covered by health insurance; and the obesity/fitness epidemic has reached the point where many youth attempting to join the military can't pass the physical tests!! We may be the greatest nation on Earth in military power and democratic principles, but we can't rest on our laurels. We don't need health insurance, we need health care, and for all Americans; we need to take care of the oldest members of society by helping them lead meaningful lives for as long as possible, integrating them into the life of society, and every American should perform government service for 2 years after high school, in return for scholarships that secure their educational or career training.

My high school social studies class was taught how America is like a salad; with the different ingredients representing the different social, ethnic, and racial diversities of our nation. Where we win is how we forge the best ideas from all sources into new visions, new goals. (Excalibur/ Arthur to Merlin: which qualities of a knight do you say are most important? Ans: Well, they blend, like the metals in a fine sword.) Our nation is that blended sword. I defend your right to have a survey, but it doesn't work, because I'm 100% American despite what you say. (And Southern by the Grace of God to boot!)

Reuben & Valerie 

Ground Control to Major Tom

Is anyone out there?

What's coming to this site? My world is about highways, crashes, death, speed, cars....that's part of how I earn my living. However I've fallen in love with the New Urbanism, Livable-Walkable Communities, and the idea that our lives do not have to be centered around our cars. PARK IT! and walk or bike.

You will also get politics, religion, and military commentary. More about me later. Right now I have to go tell Anon and Jerry O from Sgt Lizzie's that I puke at their ignorance, and to thank them for dragging me into blogdom.